complimentary thinklets – fourth quarter 2023
“active” listening
One of the worst marketing ploys to gain traction is the pitch for “active” listening. No one needs to learn “active” listening. Everyone simply needs to learn how to listen. Period.
Most of us are terrible listeners. Stephen Covey is credited with the quote: “We don’t listen to hear. We listen to respond.” He’s right. How often do you start formulating your response when someone else is still talking?
In a crisis, listening is incredibly important. You cannot hear what a survivor or family member or other key stakeholder is trying to tell you if you don’t stop, focus, and give them your full attention.
There is a powerful exercise you can use to help your crisis team members enhance their listening skills. It works like this …
Two team members chose a subject for which they share a passion but have differing views.
Flip a coin to determine who goes first. That person then gives their point of view, expressing whatever clearcut messages and nuanced points they choose to share.
Before the second person can give their point of view, they must state back to the first person – and to the first person’s complete satisfaction – what the first person said. If that doesn’t happen, the first person can repeat or try to further explain their point of view.
Until the second person shares back an understanding of what was said to the first person’s satisfaction, they cannot give their own opinion.
Once that has been completed, the second person may then provide their point of view. The first person may not respond until they have stated back to the second person – and to the second person’s complete satisfaction – what the second person said.
This process continues for a set amount of time or until the two agree that they now fully understand each other’s viewpoints (even if they still choose to disagree).
This exercise usually highlights two things:
First, listening demands one’s full attention. You cannot fully interpret and accurately act upon someone’s message without listening to what they say and how they are saying it.
Second, because we have lost the art of listening, a conversation using this exercise can take upwards of 10 times the number of minutes a traditional – but less effective – conversation takes. As we refine our listening skills, we can learn how to listen in less time.
Now is a good time to start enhancing your listening skills and those of your crisis team members. In a crisis, it may help you better read a room and not make a critical mistake.
We help organizations develop critical crisis skills. If we can help you and your team, please contact us.
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